There are a few things I've decided today. The first is that I need to learn a little about life balance. I need to find a way to express myself in a constructive way. I have always struggled with this and end up either wearing my emotions on my face and sleeve or pushing anything and everything to the back burner. I am very calm as I write this, but am seriously wondering and looking for tips from other people about this subject. When you are a passionate person it becomes hard to do anything that is NOT to an extreme... if that makes sense. So for me, I am either passionately quiet or passionately loud. How is one just passionately in the middle? You know, passionately "indoor voice" or something?
I read an article today on AOL about the happiest man in the world... this Buddhist monk whose positive emotions and feelings far outweigh the negative. He suggested that happiness is not something one can find in people, places or things for all of those are temporary and cannot last forever. I thought that was really interesting since recently I have felt like if I was just in a different place or was around certain people or could have different things (not fancy things, but a published book or certain grade, etc.) than maybe life would suddenly be perfect. And this man is telling me that is not the case. In fact, he suggests happiness is a state of mind, a type of existence. It is in what you do and how you in act... it stems from compassion, love, generosity, peace of mind, peace of heart. He also suggested sitting quietly and meditating for 30 minutes a day to train your mind to exist in that state. I feel like these are all things we all know but tend to ignore but I am really starting to appreciate the value in what it all means.
(Let me insert here my deepest apologies that this might not be a hilarious blog to read, but maybe it will resonate with some of you like it does with me).
Anyway, I realized something else today... feeling angry about certain things or comparing your life with others will lead you absolutely nowhere. It will put you into a negative state, make you resist all the positive that is desperately trying to force its way into your life... you will miss out on amazing experiences, amazing people... these are things I am not willing to miss out in my life. But how do we calm those little inner voices that can sometimes scream at us? How do we tell the voice in our head that says, "If only..." or "I wish..." or "Maybe in the future..." to just SHUT UP? Shut up and leave us alone and let us be in this moment and let us enjoy a good song on the radio or an awesome book or a warm hug from someone who loves us without constantly trying to outrun ourselves and others?
I decided to follow a good friend's advice today to make sure most of my day falls into one of the following categories today: fun, productive, kind, or enriching. I think she is brilliant anyway... but those little categories? They mean a lot. So today I signed up for guitar lessons which is both enriching and fun. I took Chris's artwork to the Butler Alumni exhibit since it's something that makes HIM happy and therefore it is kind. I studied for my midterms and that was productive. I wrote a song and am writing in my blog which is enriching and fun (and I guess productive as well). I am going to babysit now which is productive. When I get home I will run and study more (also productive and enriching). And then I will hug the person I love most when he comes home from work and I will get a good night's sleep and tomorrow I will do my best to do the same.
Lots of love on a sunny Monday. :)
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