Caution: Slight Rant at the Beginning.

Today I am frustrated. I am frustrated and I need to write and so if you don't want to read the rant of a very frustrated 25-year old, stop reading. Trust me on this.
I am going to write a book someday and it's going to be called, "How to Make Good Choices at 17 When You Know Nothing." It's going to be about how to pick the right college. And how to pick the right career path upfront. And how to stop listening to people tell you that money doesn't buy happiness because it sure as hell helps. It's going to be about how to stop your mind from racing when you get crazy notions that you want to save the world and the children and the environment. It's going to be about learning how to be happy without being constantly comfortable and overstimulated by activities and and a social circle. When I write this book, well, I will have figured out all those how-to's.
Ok and now I'm going to stop ranting and feeling like I'm going to lose my mind (since all of this has stemmed from a conversation with a school loan company). I am going to remind myself that I loved my college and I learned a lot and made excellent friends there. And that I was challenged to think about the world and what it needs to be a better place. And that it is much more important to leave your mark on the world because you loved and were generous and put others before yourself and that if you die with one penny in your bank account but you made one person's life better in some way than you died rich. And that I am blessed because I had parents who supported my dreams, whether it was to become fluent in Spanish, dance competitively, sing, try law school, travel abroad, or move to Indiana to become a nurse and live with someone I love. And that I just had a dear friend drive four hours to visit me and tell me that I am the happiest and most comfortable with myself that she has ever seen. And for a girl who makes fun of herself relentlessly because it is easier to just acknowledge her flaws verbally than to allow others to think them privately, that is the ultimate compliment.
Ok, I feel better now. Sorry about that. Stress eats away at me if I don't write. And deep down to my core I belief the latter half of this post far more than the beginning and I will continue with positive affirmations that I am exactly where I am supposed to be and that life gives back to you what you put into it. So to be patient and know that things do work out. My friend Maro, god love her, reminded me last week that all of our lives we are taught to wait for feedback from everyone. Our parents, our teachers, our friends. We look for gold stars on our papers, medals at the end of a race, promotions at work. We constantly seek people out to tell us we are valuable in some way. And when suddenly there is no feedback because you are taking online classes, nannying alone with small children, and still waiting to grow your social circle, it can be difficult to sit and be content with yourself. But it will come. It might not come right away, but it WILL.

Now for the fun stuff... last week I bought a guitar!!!! Chris and I learned to tune it but it's tricky to play. Might need to take a lesson or two to get started. And, like I said, my friend Holly came to visit and that was a blast. So good to catch up with a friend you've known for 7 years... she and Chris and I went to a winery in Fishers (total blast) and cooked delicious Thai Food complete with homemade blueberry sorbet for dinner. Then last night, Chris and I went to Mer and Sam's for the Packer's game and Brats (not to be confused with small, unruly children). All in all a good week and weekend... and now it's Monday and I am going to readjust my attitude, go nanny, study hard, and keep the big girl pants on ;)
More later... xoxo