Monday, October 25, 2010

Evolving.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately... a lot of thinking about how we change and grow through different phases of our lives and relationships. It seems to me that when you're younger, you don't notice those changes as much (they seem to sort of morph into each other), but when you get older, you can almost pinpoint when things happen.
I can pinpoint, for example, that after our trip to NYC I was considerably happier than before we left. I'm not sure why that is.... but I feel like I had some grand epiphany on that trip that this is a new adventure and we're both committed to it and that everything is going to be OK.
I have also been thinking a lot about how when you are growing up, your life path is more or less mapped out for you. You have to go to elementary school, middle school and high school. Most people assume that they will from there go right onto college. Our parents make the rules and set our limitations and boundaries for us. Our teachers help. Our friends just appear because we see them everyday in class. Then all of a sudden, you are out of college and are suddenly the captain of your own ship and having endless options around you can often be more terrifying than being told where to go next. Striking a balance between happiness and diligent perseverance toward a worthwhile goal or next step can get tricky and the lines sometimes become blurred.
I guess the important piece to this ramble is that we all tend to know ourselves better than we think we do. When we actually calm our minds down and reevaluate where we are and why (physically or metaphorically), we are able to see pretty clearly why it is we are there.
Good lord, you must think I have been saluting the sun and writing this in downward dog or something.
Now that we've all had some philosophical babble thrown at us this morning, I will move onto other things. Let's start with few job related discoveries.... I will call them "Revelations from a 4 year old:"
1) The belly button is where the egg is inserted that we then hatch later (this is how pregnancy happens and babies are born).
2) "Looking prettier" than someone (in particular your babysitter) is code for having more sparkly accessories on.
3) Flattery is having a 4 year old ask you to do her hair just like yours.
4) When you teach a child a song, she will share it with her class. You will laugh because when you learned the song at her age, you stood on your desk in your teacher's class and did the exact same thing.
5) There is nothing better in the world than the leg hug from a toddler.

Some of my own revelations for the week/weekend:
1) Watching movies like Paranormal Activity 2 all by yourself= stupid.
2) The guitar is a pretty sweet instrument and learning how to play it and not just stare at it in the corner of your living room is even better.
3) I love Borders. I read an entire book there on Saturday without even having to buy it. Not sure if that is OK but OH WELL.
4) Stats just isn't fun, no matter which way you slice it.
5) Learning how to cook with someone else who is a self-proclaimed "non-chef" is really great. And makes you both feel very accomplished at the end of the day.
6) For as little fashion sense as I have, I had a great time this weekend making Chris try on about 7 outfits for his art showing. Oops. He looked handsome though :)
7) We are fast approaching wave 2 of the weddings. Got my bridesmaid's dress for Seana's wedding. Love it!!!!!

That's about it.... off I go to do some errands and conquer Monday.
XOXO

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

It's Been Awhile....

Sorry it's been a few days, friends.... it's been busy! Let's do a quick re-cap on life in the midwest:

Last week was midterms week. I have yet to find out my stats grade, but feeling pretty good overall about how the two exams went. I am trying to keep things in perspective, however, should stats NOT have gone so great because, well, there is no need to fret about things that've already happened that we can't reverse, right? Ahhhh, if only we could really, truly live by that mantra.
Last week was also the week of friends! By that I mean, Monday night I was invited to new friend Heather's house for dinner when she heard Chris would be working late (thoughtful and fun) and I had an awesome time. The food was yummy and the company was even better. Check one- Mariah made a friend in Indiana, 100% on her own :)
Tuesday night was girls' night- Mer and two of her friends from dance and I got together for dinner, drinks and Disney. With bellies full of lasagna and wine (ooo and bread, salad, and pumpkin cake), we watched Aladdin, sang along, and just enjoyed ourselves. You might think that sounds like a very childish activity, but let me tell you something... there is nothing more soothing and smile-inducing than a night where you feel like you're 8 again. And Aladdin still looks good in those pants. I don't care if he's a cartoon.
Wednesday night I got up the motivation to go outside and run (I think I ran twice last week but that may be a bit generous) which is good since next weekend (October 30th) is the 10k for Haiti in St. Louis. And Holly is literally going to leave me in the dust at the rate I'm going. But the run went well and felt good and after Chris and I ate Indian food and planned for our trip (more to come on this)....
Thursday I finished the final final (seriously), considered treating myself to a beer, remembered I had to nanny at 2:30, decided against it and then moved on. Packed for the NYC trip, raced off to nanny, got my eyebrows waxed so I would have two instead of one, and met Mer for pizza and wine. MMMM.....
Then, on Friday morning at 5 am, after 4 hours of sleep, Chris and I raced to the airport (literally raced, because we were behind schedule and planned poorly) to the airport to leave for NYC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am not kidding when I say we were sprinting through the airport to the gate a la Home Alone. But we made it (WHEW) and at 3 pm, we were checking into a Hilton Garden Inn in Tribeca.
Let me put out a disclaimer before I forge on: Friends who live in NYC, I am sorry to the 10th power that we did not call while in town but you must understand that this was the whirlwind 2.5 day tour and mini vacation for us.... After 2.5 months of transitioning into this new little world and life, we needed a break from reality and so cashed in on part of Chris's Christmas present for a fun weekend rendez-vous. Next time we are in the area, we will absolutely be calling/getting together :)
NYC was absolutely amazing. I am a city girl at heart, I would say. I like walking quickly and am fairly impatient in many ways, so I always feel like I fit right in. Plus there is this awesome energy that just hits you the second you're there. I don't know what it is... it just makes me want to tap dance on Broadway or something. Chris and I were talking about going to school at NYU at one point and he mentioned that there was no big football or sports team and not really a campus and while I agree with the no campus part being a little less than ideal for undergrad (solely in my opinion), the no big sports and football would've been fine with me! It's perfect. No trying to fake enthusiasm.... people just work hard at school, go to coffee shops and open mics...........art gallery openings? Film festivals? I don't know, this is probably all very stereotypical, but it is so a world I would love to be a part of.
I digress. So Friday when we got to the city, we walked around Chinatown and Little Italy and ended up eating at an incredible restaurant where most of the patrons were speaking Italian. We decided that was a good sign. After that, we stopped for cannolis and coffee (which we ended up leaving in the fridge in the hotel, oops) and then did a little shopping. Come to find out, however, NYC was/is having a big bedbug problem and buying clothes was probably not the best idea? Oh well.
After that we took the subway to Times Square, which was just breathtaking as usual. I know people think it's a big awful tourist trap, but I could care less. It's constantly bustling, there are bright lights and signs everywhere, there's music playing, people hassling you to love jesus or go see a comedy show, and plus, it just smells good (like roasted nuts and pretzels). We took some cool pictures, checked out the Hershey and M&M stores, then headed uptown for dinner and dessert at Serendipity 3 (YES- the one from the movie!!!!!!!!!!!) It was so fun... and we had the frozen hot chocolate dessert which was obviously to die for.
Saturday we stopped at a deli (question mark) for breakfast and then made our way to Wall Street and the Financial District. We walked passed Ground Zero, saw the NYSE and the bull, and took more pictures. We tried to take artistic photos of each other but I will just say that those things make me laugh. In no way was I built to model. Most of the time I pose myself in this awesome way which results in a double chin, lazy eye and hair in my face.
After our exploration there, we went to Grand Central Terminal and then I showed Chris where I interned the summer after junior year in college. It was cool to be back there! We walked all up and down fifth avenue, in and out of stores, and stopped at Rockefeller Center to watch the skaters. Next time WE will skate as well but it was taking too long and the zamboni was rather slow.
We poked our heads into Radio City Music Hall, saw the NBC studio, and even went to St. Patrick's during mass where Chris took pics and I lit a candle (tradition). Then, having walked a billion miles, we decided it was time to break for dinner.
We waited for almost an hour at John's Pizzeria but it was really good! Then after that we went to the Empire State Building and waited for about an hour in that line to go to the observatory. It was sooooo cool- the whole city was lit up and my god, it is HUGE. Definitely worth the wait.
Now, blame it on the walking or lack of water, but when we got to our final destination (O'Neill's irish pub) it took about 1.5 beers before I felt my legs do that tingly thing they do when I drink. We were all smiles and laughs (and very rosy-cheeked, I might add) while we crammed ourselves into whatever space we could find at the bar and listened to live irish music. The perfect ending to a perfect day.
Sunday we played it a little more low key. Got a bit of a late start and then ended up in Greenwich Village. We had lunch at Spice (thank you, Christie and Zach for introducing me to that!!!!!!!) and then just putzed around and looked at NYU, Union Square, etc.
When it was time to leave, we had a CRAZY taxi driver take us back to the airport. There was some accident halfway there so traffic was bumper to bumper for a very long time. He kept swearing under his breath and at one point drove across the grass to the other side of the highway to change his course. We were just clutching hands in the backseat, trying not to look at each other. When we got to JFK, the line at security was also a mile long and (just like our departure), and had to sprint to the gate as they were calling our names. Nothing like keeping that heart rate up.
It was just the perfect weekend and exactly what we needed. It also reminded me that being in a new place together is exciting and to keep reminding myself that even though Indy is a little challenging for me at times because I feel like I'm trying to find my way in a pre-Mariah world of college, sports and co-workers, that there is still plenty of time and space for new memories, places and experiences. It was good to gain that perspective and just have stress-free fun together.
Now it is Wednesday and I am doing my best to stay on schedule with school work this week. I feel like I've done a decent job so far so hopefully I can keep the momentum up. And Holly, you will be proud... I ran again yesterday. Only 7 miles next Saturday right??? OYYYY.
Finally, guitar lesson 1 this Saturday (WOO), and the purchase of my bridesmaid's dress for my darling cousin's wedding. Very exciting!!! Love weddings!

Ok, that is all for now...um, wait... I feel like I'm supposed to leave you with some positive thought for the day or week or something. Ok, how about this- "Life begins outside of your comfort zone." Saw that on a card... Loved it.
To a happy, healthy week and weekend!
XOXO

Monday, October 11, 2010

A Happy State of Mind

There are a few things I've decided today. The first is that I need to learn a little about life balance. I need to find a way to express myself in a constructive way. I have always struggled with this and end up either wearing my emotions on my face and sleeve or pushing anything and everything to the back burner. I am very calm as I write this, but am seriously wondering and looking for tips from other people about this subject. When you are a passionate person it becomes hard to do anything that is NOT to an extreme... if that makes sense. So for me, I am either passionately quiet or passionately loud. How is one just passionately in the middle? You know, passionately "indoor voice" or something?
I read an article today on AOL about the happiest man in the world... this Buddhist monk whose positive emotions and feelings far outweigh the negative. He suggested that happiness is not something one can find in people, places or things for all of those are temporary and cannot last forever. I thought that was really interesting since recently I have felt like if I was just in a different place or was around certain people or could have different things (not fancy things, but a published book or certain grade, etc.) than maybe life would suddenly be perfect. And this man is telling me that is not the case. In fact, he suggests happiness is a state of mind, a type of existence. It is in what you do and how you in act... it stems from compassion, love, generosity, peace of mind, peace of heart. He also suggested sitting quietly and meditating for 30 minutes a day to train your mind to exist in that state. I feel like these are all things we all know but tend to ignore but I am really starting to appreciate the value in what it all means.

(Let me insert here my deepest apologies that this might not be a hilarious blog to read, but maybe it will resonate with some of you like it does with me).

Anyway, I realized something else today... feeling angry about certain things or comparing your life with others will lead you absolutely nowhere. It will put you into a negative state, make you resist all the positive that is desperately trying to force its way into your life... you will miss out on amazing experiences, amazing people... these are things I am not willing to miss out in my life. But how do we calm those little inner voices that can sometimes scream at us? How do we tell the voice in our head that says, "If only..." or "I wish..." or "Maybe in the future..." to just SHUT UP? Shut up and leave us alone and let us be in this moment and let us enjoy a good song on the radio or an awesome book or a warm hug from someone who loves us without constantly trying to outrun ourselves and others?

I decided to follow a good friend's advice today to make sure most of my day falls into one of the following categories today: fun, productive, kind, or enriching. I think she is brilliant anyway... but those little categories? They mean a lot. So today I signed up for guitar lessons which is both enriching and fun. I took Chris's artwork to the Butler Alumni exhibit since it's something that makes HIM happy and therefore it is kind. I studied for my midterms and that was productive. I wrote a song and am writing in my blog which is enriching and fun (and I guess productive as well). I am going to babysit now which is productive. When I get home I will run and study more (also productive and enriching). And then I will hug the person I love most when he comes home from work and I will get a good night's sleep and tomorrow I will do my best to do the same.
Lots of love on a sunny Monday. :)

Friday, October 8, 2010

Great Week, Memorable Quotes, Fun Ahead

I pat myself on the back as I say that this has been my best week in Indiana so far. Something happened this week where my attitude started to shift (I could literally feel it happen). I don't know if it was sitting with Chris and finally talking about ideas for next year with school and jobs, being able to be honest about what has been good and what has been hard so far about this transition, or just starting to adjust to everything around me... but however it happened, it certainly feels good. Capped it off with a good run on Thursday and am finally starting to feel like I can dominate this 10k with Holly in three weeks. Annnnnd classes/tests/hw this week went pretty well too :) Midterms next week (can you believe it? I can't)... wish me luck!

Ok blah blah blah, I know that while my own poignant moments of self-realization and happiness are truly thrilling for you readers, what you really want is something to laugh about. Am I right, or am I right? I think I will start you off with the quote of the week:



Little girl I babysit (4 y/o): "Mariah, how are those millions of kids coming that I asked you for?"

Me: "I'll be honest, they're not going to show up any time soon, friend."

Little girl I babysit: "Hasn't anyone put an egg in you yet?"


Let me stop right here. At this point, I damn near choked on my soda. But I did my best to remain calm and collected.


Me: "Hmm, an egg?"

Little girl I babysit: "Ya! Like the chickens. Chickens need to have an egg put in so that an egg comes out and I think people are like chickens. Or MAYBE we're like worms and can just cut ourselves in half!" (Maniacal giggle).

Me: "WHO IS TELLING YOU THIS STUFF????"



Moving right along....

A guilty secret is that when this little girl decides to wrap her arms around my lower leg so that I can drag her around the house, I let her and write it off as my gluteal work out. Buns of steel in no time. Wildy inappropriate, I apologize.

And finally:

I was told today that I am an adult who wants to be a kid. I acknowledge the truth in this statement and realize that life will be easier once I have children to blame my interests on. "Ohhhh, Frankie is just DYING to go to the pumpkin patch and haunted house and apple picking and to the zoo and to the corn maze and......" Yup. Not as normal when a 25 year old makes the request. Also? Child will not be named Frankie. Nothing against the name Frankie, I just know it won't realistically happen.



But enough about that.



Right now Chris is upstairs taking a nap... when he comes back downstairs he will probably notice that the sliding doors are covered in construction paper bats, pumpkins and ghosts. And that I have taken a huge chunk out of the raw cookie dough in the fridge which has "DO NOT CONSUME RAW" typed all over it. Mmmmm. So good.



I have absolutely no rhyme or reason to my thoughts right now....... they are helter skelter. I apologize. My brain is fried from studying this week. And I am probably crashing down for some sugar high.



Oh oh... a few other things before I forget:

1) I successfully cooked a Thai Red Curry Chicken and Shrimp dish on Wednesday night. The house is still standing and the food was edible. Go me.



2) Chris and I watched Halloween: H20 on Monday night and he left me at the scariest part of the movie to go watch some ridiculous YouTube video about the Return of the Quack (some Oregon football team thing I think). I demanded his return, though, and he kindly obliged so that I could hide my face in his arm like a 5 year old. That was fun :)



3) Mer, Sam, Chris and I went to Trivia last night and for the first time in three weeks, we did not place. We were all visibly upset.



4) My to-do list this weekend probably requires an extra five days. That is incredibly unfortunate.



5) I am starting to see some pretty gorgeous fall foliage when I'm out and about. This makes me smile.



6) I can move my neck.



7) I am staring longingly at my guitar right now, wishing I could just skip the whole learning part and play the damn thing already.



8) I miss speaking Spanish. If you speak Spanish, call me. Like immediately.



That is all............so to summarize- a good week filled with goal accomplishing, fall appropriate activities, laughter and good energy. Huzzah.



A thought for you to contemplate: Do you remember when you were five and you wanted to be like 15 different things when you grew up? Do you ever feel that way now? Because I do daily. For example, on my bucket list, I basically want to be a pediatric nurse practitioner and save the children, become a singer/songwriteer, publish children's books, own a chocolate shop in Switzerland and simultaneously speak Spanish while tap dancing while lying on a beach in Tahiti. Sigh. I hope I live to be 200.
That is all friends. I am off to raid the fridge of more cookie dough. Shhh....
XOXO

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Ummm.... Sunday, Oh No, Almost Monday?

I was trying to be creative with the entry title.... it didn't work out so well.
It is Sunday night and I am sitting on the couch for probably the 7th hour today. I woke up this morning with that ridiculous pinched nerve, can't-move-my-neck thing that I tend to get about twice a year for no reason at all. It literally feels like a constant charlie horse in your neck. What a waste of a beautiful day... ahhh well. I did manage to go to church this morning which was nice... and this thing will go away in a couple days hopefully.
Ok, trying to think of anything to recap on... Wednesday night Chris and I went on a picnic that I planned as a surprise. It was more or less a total failure since we left a little late and then I had the wrong directions to the park we were going to. It was also pretty cold. So we sat in the dark on beach towels and froze eating our sandwiches. Ahhh well, I tried.
Thursday was awesome in that Chris, Mer, Sam and I went to Mo's Irish Pub for Trivia Night and came in, wait for it- SECOND PLACE!!!!! We got a twenty dollar gift certificate for when we come back next week. Our group is called "What a Crazy Cornhole!" (my idea, obviously) and we are slowly creeping up the ladder :) Maybe next week will be a first place win!
Friday I did an awesome brownie and puppet making day with the kids I nanny and I think it was a huge success. I am thinking about making some of the cute witch and mummy puppets to put in the front yard- we shall see if that actually happens!
Saturday Chris took his boards and I spent most of the day studying and doing errands/chores. It was pouring out so I figured better to be productive while it was too crappy to go out and have fun. Saturday night Chris went out with friends to celebrate being done with his exam and I decided to hang back since it's good for us to both do things on our own with friends. So I went to the movies... tried to see "Life As We Know It" but it was sold out so I ended up seeing Easy A... it was cute, entertaining... not sure if it was worth the nine dollars, but I got to eat movie popcorn so that was good :) Then I bought a bottle of wine and had a two hour long phone conversation with a long lost friend.
PS- I cannot begin to explain how many people I know are now engaged or pregnant. Better start saving those pennies for the gifts to come!
Thought for the week: "Your net worth is nothing more and nothing less than what you do for others and how you serve the world."