No Idea for a Title Today

Annnnnd we're back.
Happy post-Thanksgiving, everyone! Hope you're all ready for the Christmas countdown! I would be if I actually had a flight booked back home and all my gifts bought. But alas, those things will eventually happen.
I had a great time back home visiting family and friends... I was able to spend a night in Boston when I first arrived, about a week in Maine, and then another night in Boston before we flew back yesterday. It was hard to find time to do everything and see everyone I wanted to see, but luckily in three weeks I'll be back for round two :)
A few highlights of the week: 1) The loud, chaotic environment of the Buckley household. I never tire of it. Even when the dog is barking and everyone is talking over each other. It just feels like a whole lotta love. 2) Being able to relax and see friends with whom I share a history and do not need to explain things to. No awkward "getting to know you" conversations. Just cozy comfort. 3) Nights out in the Old Port where Christmas lights are strewn everywhere, guitarists play barefoot covers of "Walking on Sunshine," and you attempt to run into some people from high school while desperately avoiding others. 4) DDing for Kristen's friends who never cease to entertain me. 5) Walking on the beach. 6) LL Bean adventures. 7) Incredible Thanksgiving Dinner where you have to unbutton your pants to breathe after.
So that about sums up my week... hope you all had similar ones!
Had a little trouble getting back on the plane to Indy, I will be honest. I didn't mean to, I tried my hardest to keep a stiff upper lip. But it absolutely did not work and try as I might, Chris knew my "I think I just have a little cold or some allergies" was total crap. I was OK after awhile but I would say that my feeling when I went to bed last night was not sad or happy or any other emotion. It was just exhaustion and complacency. Does that even make sense? I think, actually, a lot of the people I have met here would understand. This is very much the kind of place where people grow up, go to college, and stay put. I haven't met many people here so far who are from someplace else. Or if they are, it's from the next state over. I wish I felt more adventurous. I wish people didn't meet me and assume that because I was a Spanish major and studied abroad that I can pack up and go anywhere in the world. I feel bad when I think that maybe I've represented myself incorrectly. Or maybe it's just easier to drink wine with friends in the comfort of your home and discuss all the adventures you want out of life. The world always feels like your oyster with close friends and family by your side. It feels a lot different when they're not.
My goal for this week is to put my best foot forward. To not let the stress of what's going inside my mind affect how I come across as a person. Because to be honest, I feel like the midwest has not gotten the best of me. And that makes me a little sad because it's not the way I roll. I am going to try to my hardest to regain a feeling of control this week and focus on preparing for finals, getting more applications out, and decorating for Christmas somewhere in between.
Part of me wants to erase everything I just wrote and write some little essay about how well-adjusted and non self-focused I am right now, but that would be a big fat lie and probably boring. So I'm going to maintain my integrity as a writer and post this right now.
Lots of love :)